How Assertive Are You?

Are you aware of how you appear to other people? Are there some situations (or people) that bring out the worst in you? Are there times when you know that if you had behaved differently you might have achieved a better outcome?

This blog will help you identify your personal communication style and the next blog will give you 10  simple steps on how to stand up for yourself but also respect the rights of others, and therefore gain their respect.



Aggressive behaviour is when you stand up for yourself in such a way that the rights of the other person are violated. It’s an attempt to belittle, control, humiliate or punish another person.

Being a martyr – I’m the only one who can…

Verbal finger pointing – “you” statements

Expressing opinion as fact – “this will never work”, “this is useless.”

Blaming – “it wouldn’t have happened if you’d done X”, “you started it”

Threatening style – “why on earth did you do that?”

Sarcasm – you might think it’s funny but it’s actually a deliberate put down or swipe


Passive behaviour is failing to stand up for yourself, or doing so in such an ineffective way that your rights are easily violated.

Unnecessary apologies – “I’m terribly sorry I just don’t….”

Trying to agree when you don’t – “I agree but …..”

Sulky – “It won’t matter what I say because you…”

Unnecessary compliance – “Well I suppose that’s all right “


Passive aggressive behaviour is the indirect expression of anger or frustration. On the surface it looks passive as there is no visible aggression but in reality the person is sabotaging their opponent.

For example : Slamming doors or giving someone the silent treatment

Watch out for next week’s blog with the 10 Steps To Be More Assertive.

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